When I Get Old

We spent this evening with some good friends and talked a bit about aging -- us, our parents, our grandparents (some here and some gone). It has me thinking about all the folks I've seen age, for better or for worse. We all seem to think, "I won't be like THAT" -- and then many of us end up "that" way anyway! So what makes the difference?

It makes me think of Millie. She was a lady who became a surrogate grandmother my 4th grade year --the year we spent out west. I last saw her in 2001 when she was passing though this part of the country. She had been widowed recently and had to be in her late 70s. A few years later she relocated to another part of the country to be near one of her sons. She still sends jovial letters. She is what I'd like to be when I'm older -- warm, joyful, willing to travel, involved in the church, willing to try new things and start over, enjoying the memories but not so worried about the physical place or stuff, always talking about others, interested in current events and people's lives.

Thinking back, I am realizing that she didn't just start behaving this way as she got older. She was always big hearted and had an open door policy with friends. She never seemed concerned about "stuff". I remember her house well -- the kitchen especially. Nothing fancy -- old table and chairs, bulletin board of pictures, always fresh coffee and goodies. And the living room -- a piano that a little girl was always welcome to play. A yard full of a few dogs and the cars her sons were fixing up. A place to skip into after school with my parents and "sit a spell" -- no rush. No feeling of being in the way, even though she had six kids of her own, some still at home and some living nearby. Always laughter and hugs. A simple straightforward faith.

When I think of others I know who haven't aged so "gracefully", I think of habits that appear so strongly -- complaining, unwillingness to change, talking negatively about others, bitterness, worrying, feeling left out or "different", self-centeredness, sense of entitlement, anger. Barring dementia, it seems that these habits must have been there before, even if in a lesser degree. Maybe as we age, our sense of how others see us gives us the "red light" less often. Maybe we become less inhibited about our thoughts showing through.

If I don't want to be a self-centered, grouchy old lady -- I guess I'd better start working on my attitude now, huh? If my focus is always on others, I hope it will be much harder for it to suddenly turn inward on myself. If I am impatient, complain, and worry now -- how much more so will these habits continue as I age?

There's so much I know I won't understand until I stand in those shoes. Much of this I have written will probably seem trite. But I'm pretty sure I'll be more likely to enjoy my life THEN if I start practicing joy NOW.

While everyone's thinking about New Year's goals, I am considering what I might want in my life when I'm old (if the Lord chooses to leave me here that long and I still have a couple of brain cells to rub together!) Here's my quick list of "wants":

• Lots of family to be engaged with (with the focus on what I can do for them, not what they should be doing for me)
• Lifelong friends and openness to new friends
• Not a lot of stuff (other than things that help me remember my life, like albums, and things that help me share insights and remain a thinking person, like books)
• Ability to make an impact (whether by volunteering, teaching, sharing a skill, helping homeschool my grandchildren, encouraging a young mom, whatever)
• To be the kind of person people want to be around -- smiling, with a sense of humor, asking a lot of questions about others and caring about the answers, not ignorant of the times (and finding positives where I can)
• My health and mind (as much as I am able to affect it with my choices)
• A rock solid faith -- with the true contentment of knowing where I'm going and the willingness to continue to grow and share my faith

So this year -- it seems I should focus on my relationship with the Lord, my relationships with the people he has placed in my life, my attitude, and my impact on this body he's given me to last all my days.

And if the Lord's plan for my life is a short one (or if I do grow old and am physically unable to do most of the above), all the more reason to make the important stuff important now!

Suddenly all the organizing and cleaning and scheduling don't seem so high-priority...